I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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