You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
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She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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