Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
