I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
