I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
