glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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