oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize