You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize