loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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