How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
