no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize