Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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