If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.