If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.