Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..