Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
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Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.