Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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