I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
