i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
