and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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