College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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