I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
ok first of all what the fuck
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
