So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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