my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize