i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize