please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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