he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize