I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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