I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
