Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's rum buckets o'clock
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
