real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
