I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think i just lost a toe
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
