Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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