ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
