I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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