What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
