Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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