wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Come share oat with me in your robe
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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