OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
