The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize