When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
