guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
