I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
