we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
