I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize