Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
