ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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