she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
