When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
