So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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