"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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