dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
