Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
