Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Randomize
