I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
