Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
