operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
