i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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