i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
